Balinese Quirks

Here a bunch of random stuff I liked, found hilarious or annoying in Bali:
- you could lick your plate clean and the waiter would still ask if you were finished before taking it away
- 'excuse me, you dropped something' I fell for this at least twice before I was able to ignore it (I hear this maybe 10 times a day)
- 'Same same, but different' the local vendors rational for why their product looks the same, but is twice the price of the exact same thing inthe next stall
- they try to sell you anything you have already purchased so if you have a sarrong clearly you need 6 more. 'One more?'

- By far my favourite: the silent taxi drivers who don't bother yelling 'transport, yes, yes' at you, but instead have a signthat reads "Need a taxi?" on one side and "Maybe tomorrow?" on the other.

And of course, crude or not it has to be mentionned again, "Up the bum, no babies". I had a great conversation with one vendor who was convinced I was lying when I said babies wasn't spelled babys (which is what his t-shirts said). Too funny.

Tulamben, Bali and Gili Trawagan, Lombok, Indonesia

Tulamben is a pretty non-existent village. The US Liberty shipwreck is essentially the only reason a couple of resorts have popped up here. The US Liberty is an easy dive ranging from 10-30 meters depth with lots to see. Excellent introduction for Court's first ever discovery dive :)

During the past 2 months I've heard great things about the Gilis so we decided to go check them out. We opted for the slow/cheap ferry to get over to Lombok ($15 instead of $70) and MAN IS IT SLOW! After 5 hours on the boat (4 of which I was blissfully asleep) Court picks up the Lonely Planet and reveals that Lombok is in fact only 25km away from Bali. Let's do the math on that one: 5 hours, 25 km means we are only going 5 km/hr! No wonder it's cheaper.

Gili is a set of three islands. We decided on Gili Trawagan because gili Air is suppose to be family friendly and gili Meno apparently has severe electricity issues and no internet, which really isn't job application or blog friendly. Trawagan, according to the Lonley Planet, is suppose to be a nice party place with good diving. I must admit I was very disappointed with Gili. It did have some really nice diving (Court got to see a shark which she was esctatic about), but other than that the beach near the hotels is crowded, the turtle sanctuary is a sad sad sight with a couple of turtles floating around in a glass enclosure, the hotels are either expensive or disgusting, the food and drinks are overpriced and the average tourist is either 18 or acts like an 18 yr old (thrilled to be away from Mom's supervision). It is a nice place to hang out for a couple of days, but is definately no better or cheaper than Kuta beach Bali. Another not so charming quality about Gili Trawagan is the surplus of Magic Mushrooms. They are in shakes, on pizza, in the bars, on the streets, etc. etc. One night Court and I were sitting ina quaint little hut with an awesome view of the water when the waiter came over to ask us if we wanted magic mushroom shakes. When we said no thanks he replied 'it's fine, everyone else is doing them. No problem!' Thanks, but no thanks buddy. I'm not going to be peer pressured into taking drugs on some island, hours from any kind of medical help, days from my country just because a bunch of other people think it's a good idea. We had to laugh at his attempt. Overall I'm glad I went to check it out, but would definitely pass on going there again. Happy to be back in Bali and moving on to Phuket, Thailand for some great diving.

Gunung Agung - THE MOST RIDICULOUS HIKE EVER

The next thing on our vacation to-do list is to climb a volcano. We get ourselves set up with a company and drive out to the base of Gunung Agung at 1am so that we can climb to the summet in time for sunrise. We're greeted by a tiny Indonesian woman who hands us flashlights and apologizes for not speaking much English (more on this later). So we start off up about 200 steps. I'm already struggling a little because of the late hour (it;s about 1:20am) and having just woken up from an impromptu nap in the van on the way over, but I'm enthusiastic about the climb and excited about sunrise. We stop at a temple and stand around awkwardly as our guide sets up several offerings and says a prayer. Then the real adventure begins. THIS IS NO HIKE FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! IT'S MORE LIKE ROCKCLIMBING THAN 'WALKING'. Unfortunately, our guide can;t communicate this to us as hervocabulary appears to be limited to yes, no, slowly slowly and enjoy. So as we duck under trees and climb over others, scrambled through trenches 3 feet deep and maybe 1 1/2 fet wide all she can really say is 'yes yes' and giggle as I gasp for air and ask if it is like this the whole way up. An appropriate answer would have beend ' No, this is the really easy part', but I guess it's better I didn't know that yet as I was already thinking I keep thinking '5 more hours of this'!?! From the trenches we move into a section that is all rock, but that can mostly be climbed like big unstable stairs, from there it turns into smaller rocks that create severely unstable steps at an angle that requires us to climb them on all fours. Note that now it is almost 3am and we've been climbing in the dark for 2 hours without any breaks and have been up since 8am. To my great dismay, every time I see the flash lights of the other group (who are about 30 minutes ahead of us) stop and ask if they are almost at the top our guide just laughs and says no. She doesn't offer any further encouragement or ETA. My greatest motivation at this point is that stopping for more than 30 seconds makes me shiver uncontrollably and going back down would be impossible and incredibly foolish in the dark so I have no other options except continuing up.
After about 5 hours, 2500 and some odd meters and a couple of moments of extreme panic (sometimes me panicking and Court being the rational/calm one, sometimes the other way around) we finally make it to the top in time for sunrise. We drag ourselves over and into this pit and look over to the east, only to see that a huge bank of clouds is completely blocking out the sun. DAMN, but c'est la vie eh?

The way down is a huge concern to us as in our mninds the dark stretches of mountain not lit by our flshlights are huge chasm. I'm sitting at the top replaying the climb up and remembering the couple of times we had to eadge our way across ledges or full out cross huge holes rockclimbing style, but with no harness and thinking 'how the hell are we going to get down?'. The worrying combined with the intense cold at the top is making it hard to enjoy the view. Court's action epitomize out fatigue, anxiety and loss of interest: I say 'Want to take in this view before we head down', she leans past me to glance at the beautiful peaks of the valcona inthe orange light with a look of total disinterest and says 'yep, got it, let's go'.

The next 6 hours, with the exception of the first 30 minutes when we are giddy with relief at the ease of sliding down the mountain on our backsides, are total hell. With aching knees, scratched legs and arms, sweat drenched shirts and empty bellies we struggle our way down the volcano. A full 12 hours after leaving our van in the parking lot we collapse back into it grateful to be down safe.

We decide a reward is much deserved and check ourselves into a really nice hotel ($30 a night) and spend the next 18 hours basking in aircon, fluffy towels and think duvets.

So after sleeping, eating and having my legs finally repair themselves and allow me to walk without looking physically challenged (this takes 3 days), I look back and think: it really wasn't that bad! lol Just goes to show how well our minds distort our perceptions in a way to comfort ourselves. Gotta love the psychology behind it.

Ubud, Bali, Indonesia

Court and I headed to Ubud where we were met with ridiculous amounts of rain. Once that let up a little we walked down to the local market where Court was astonished at the amount of Batik fabric (hand dyed using wax to make elaborate patterns) on sale for dirt cheap. That night we discovered just how cheap you can get things at a market if you go right at closing. Everyone seemed desperate to make a final sale and were offering staggeringly low prices for all kinds of things. Makes you wonder how much the stuff is really worth and what kind of quality it is.
After a tasty meal of spring rolls and avocado chicken salad (by far the best meal I've had so far) we purchased tickets to see some traditional Balinese dancing. Unfortunately, it was horribly disappointing. The show was titled 'Kecak Fire Dancing and Trance Dance' so we were expecting fire eating and manipulation and various different dances. What we got was about 60 men sitting in a circle chanting and making noises with their hands, etc., which was cool for about 10 minutes, but then we realized that the actual beat only varied for about 3 minutes and then was repeated over and over and over. Meanwhile, two women entered the circle, danced in slow motion for maybe 10 minutes and then got chased out of the circle by some kind of monkey demon thing (man in a wooden mask). Then they yell at each other in Bahasa for a while and then continue dancing in slow motion. Needless to say, after 45 minutes of repetitive chanting, slow motion dancing and yelling in Bahasa, we snuck out.

The next day was reserved for the Monkey Sanctuary. It is suppose to be along the same lines as the rehabilitation center I visited in Malaysia, but appears to be more of a messed up zoo/tourist trap. Monkeys are wandering around the grounds and into the village (where they are chased out of stores and back into the 'sanctuary'), tourists are teasing them with food and trying to touch them and getting far closer to a unknown wild animal than any intelligent person would recommend (lots of dumb tourists sticking there faces right up next to this 20 pound monkey with half inch sharp claws and teeth the size of a tigers - literally, surprisingly huge sharp teeth). Despite the distance we were keeping, right at the entrance one of the monkeys spotted a lump in Courtney's pocket and came running. He jump up onto her, reached his hand inside her buttoned pocket and pulled out her lip gloss. He then proceeded to untwist the top and lick all the lip gloss of the applicator and then gnawed through the plastic. Meanwhile, his monkey friend has spotted him eating and has decided Court must have more treats. The only signs around the sanctuary say that if attacked drop the food and walk away, but Court doesn't have any food so when this monkey leaps up onto her and starts going through her pockets she doesn't have anything to drop! So I stand around helpless yelling at the monkey and trying to distract him while Court tried not to freak out as the monkey digs his claws through her clothing. Eventually he gives up and jumps down only to go after my bag. I was terrified he'd open it up and take off with my camera or passport so I risked it and hissed at him and stomped my foot at him. At first he looked like he might try to take me on, but then decided against it and walk away. Not a very relaxing morning.

Next we traveled to Klungklung where there is an elephant sanctuary. The sanctuary is really more of a really nice/enormous garden area with elephants romming around and horribly sad looking monkeys in empty cages (decorations I;m guessing...). Aside from the depressed looking monkeys that I attempted to cheer-up with mangosteins and oranges (the staff encouraged this of course) the place is beautiful and the elephant look pretty happy hanging out in big gaggles and munching on plants. We were assigned to Alaura, a two ton, 20 year old female who continuously snacked while she toured us around the property. Much more successful than our morning monkey journey.

Kuta Beach Con't/SURFING

After a couple of days of lounging on the beach we decided we were ready to take on surfing. During our oh so weird experience of being accosted by locals while rendered immobile by drying henna tattoos (see last post), we had met a local named Mateo who promise to have us standing on surf boards in 15 minutes or less. We arrived on the beach and were greeted by Mateo and his nameless sidekick who briefly (VERY briefly-as in 15 words or less) explained to us how to surf. We then followed them out into the surf and waited for our first wave. I was pretty skeptical standing up within 15 minutes, but sure enough, Court was standing up on her first try and I was on my second. Clearly we're naturals lol. We surfed for about on hour with our respective instructors while fielding questions about our personal lives. I'm pretty used to this and pulled out the same story I always do (got married last year, but my husband is still in school so he couldn't come on this trip or he's at a business meeting and I'm on my way to meet him. I vary it depending on how creeped out I feel). Court on the other hand made the mistake of saying she was single and spent the rest of her lesson being invited back to Sumatra to meet Mateo's family, etc. Lol. All very harmless, but still pretty funny. Overall, I was really pleased at how the whole experience went. Would definitely surf again!

That night we made our second attempt at locating the night market for dinner. This time we found the night market, but, unfortunately, it didn't actually have any prepared food and was a total bust. I was very disappointed. Kuta and Gili are both really really weak on street food. It's hard to find and either totally bland or drenched in disgusting grease with crazy hot peppers mixed in. I miss Jakarta street noodles and Filipino street markets.

Kuta Beach, Bali, Indonesia

Things I've seen/random notes on Kuta:
1- Huge group of drunk string bikini clad Scandinavians -make that VERY drunk- wrestling on the beach in the afternoon. Look of total disgust on Muslim women's faces as they try to walk down the beach without getting hip checked.
2- Indonesian man asking the Swedish guys I'm sitting with if he can take my picture. I refuse (because I'm in a bikini), while the Swedish guy sits there confused. The Indonesian man stands around awkardly until a flash of lightning distracts me and then he snaps my pictures. YUCK.
3- Locals on the beach selling ice cream, bracelets, hena tattoos and wooden dragons, while calling you sexy, beautiful, etc.
4- Court's plane arrived at about 10:30pm and since I was so excited to go meet her I couldn't settle on the beach or focus on my book etc. so I decided I would walk to the airport to kill an hour or so. THe road to the airport is pretty much straight and is lined with huge stores and loads of restaurants so I wasn't at all worried about walking it.
5- Crude bumper stickers (ex. Up the bum, no babies) are sold in mass quantities. Vendors make even cruder comments if you stop to read them. Pains me to think of the impression Westerners have left on the locals. Clearly, at some point, Westerners must have approved of/encouraged/purchased this kind of thing. It's pretty sad when you think about it. No wonder some people think we have no morals.
6- Courtney lying with her head in my lap while she gets a henna tattoo on her stomach and I get one on my back. Since we are essentially helpless, the locals swarm and Court and I are subjected to women shoving bracelets in our faces, while another woman tries to convince me I want a massage (she giving me a free sample and ignoring my No Thank Yous) and Court has her heel pumiced (also a free sample). All we could do was laugh. Don't think we'll encounter a situation like that for a long time.
7- With the exception of one girl who was standing in a Jakarta train station looking very upset as she checked to see what was left in bag (a huge slit had been cut down the side so I can imagine at least her wallet was missing), I haven't seen much theft in Indonesia. However, that doesn't mean I'm being careless either. Court and I decided to head to the beach for a swim one night and delibrately brought only the equivalent of $3-4 and nothing else. Our Swedish friends weren't so saavy and returned to the beach after our swim to find that their beer, money and one digital camera was missing. It sucks, but I can't really say I was surprised...

Jakarta, Indonesia

Quick note on my 2 days in Jakarta:

Jakarta is huge, congested, polluted and exhausting city. Although they have a well developed public transport system, many people still prefer their cars, motorcycles and tricycles so the streets are crammed all the time and crossing the downtown street is essentially impossible (unless you have a death wish). The locals just stick their hands out and walk into the street, but I did not have the nerve to test that strategy out.
I went up their National Monument. It's along the same lines as the CN tower and provides a nice view of the city. I was a little disappointing because from that view point Jakarta looks like any other big city, nothing really distinct or unique about it. Next, I went to the Mosques in the downtown area. It is suppose to be one of the largest mosques in Southeast Asia. It is really big and nicely designed, but unlike famous churches it didn't have any art or decorations really. Beautiful marble work, but a lot of empty space. Very interesting though. I felt a little bad because it had started pouring rain outside so when I entered I was pretty wet and they asked me to put on a robe over my drenched clothes. Not so nice for the next person asked to put it on... oops.

Jakarta did have some really tasty street food. I'm very excited about the food in Indonesia because I've heard so many good things about it!!! Will keep you posted of what I find/eat!

Apo Island March 31st- April 5th

So we've arrived on this tiny island off the coast of Dumaguete city, Philippines. At first I'm a little thrown off because I was expecting a resort and instead am now standing in a dingy looking dorm room with browning mosquito nets and a bucket shower...ok not what I was expecting, but the island has a real charm and soon enough I had forgotten about the very basic accommodations and was loving life on the island.
On our first night there we heard about a disco and went to check it out with Alex and Marcel from Switzerland. Around 9pm there isn't a soul on the dance floor (big outdoor basketball court with disco lights hanging from the hoops and music blaring from a makeshift stage) so the 4 of us are out there dancing all alone as a group of children run around us, half intrigued, half scared of us. It was a very cool atmosphere with the basketball court all lit up in disco lights and the silhouettes of palm trees with a full moon in the background. By about 10pm all the kids and adults are dancing side by side and just generally letting loose to North American music. An island favourite, and most irritating song after 2 days straight of hearing it, goes like this 'don't want nobody nobody, but you. don't want nobody nobody, but you. don't want nobody nobody, but you.'etc., etc., etc. I'm sure you get the picture.

Apo Island Highlights:
- watching Alex and Kate slip slide through the mud in an attempt to reach the beer/water
- star gazing on the rocky beach with Kate. Makes me feel very small, but very fortunate all at once. The world being so big with so many issues and wars, while my biggest concern at the moment is my skinned knees (I did a rather good jkob on them though...)
- Mary's house! She so kindly took us in and rearranged her guests so that we could have a room during the fiesta/Easter celebrations. Simple place, but lovely also. All white walls with pepto-bismo pink trim, and bathrooms on the balconies. Our bathroom had a watchdog pigeon...Okay maybe not watchdog, maybe more creepily tied up pigeon that was looking into our bathroom 24/7, but I assume he had a purpose. Also in random corners throughout the house are nests with tiny little blueish black birds... not too sure what their story was, but added to the charm of the place.
- Dance practice: the island is divided up into 7 sections and then grouped into 3 communities. For fiesta they are holding a dance competition between each of the communities. Each one gets a trained dance instructor and they have been practicing for months. We stumble upon one the final practices and were so impressed we decided we really had to stay for fiesta, this was something we couldn't miss.
- cards by candlelight (power goes out every night at 9pm) with Kate and the Swiss guys.
- screaming pigs! This wasn't a positive highlight, but needs to be mentioned. As I said, it was fiesta on the island. Fiesta essentially entails a lot of visiting friends, community activities like discos AND eating tons and tons of pork. So for days and days at about 5 am the men start moving the pigs from their cages into the area where they'll be killed and this results in the loudest, most disturbing sound I have ever heard an animal make. It is horrible!
- the local church choir. On Easter Saturday, before dawn, they walked down the main road holding candles and singing. They have the most beautiful voices.

A little more info on Apo Island:
They are a very poor village, but have a really strong community. While diving, we came across a huge dead Trivially fish. Our dive master, Jed, went to investigate and discovered that it had a huge hook in its mouth, but the line was all tangled in the coral so it couldn't be reeled in. It didn't really surprise me when he untangled it and tied it to his weight belt. He dragged it along for about 30 minutes after that in much the same way a child drags along a huge balloon at the circus or something (albeit a big, dead, morbid balloon). It did surprise me, however, when I found out is was 15 kg and fed 15 families that day (Jed gave it away).
According to a dive instructor from England who has been living on the island for 10 years, a survey in 2004 found that the average household on Apo Island netted a total of $1.50 per month (not including fish caught or vegetables grown). Keep in mind that each household is about 5 people. So a free 15kg fish that feeds 15 families is a big deal.